Frog Eyes
When I was younger I was afraid of frogs.
The way they jumped up and down trying to escape me.
The way their wide eyes stare at me trying to expose my dark secrets.
They gave off this feeling that scared me.
Even as a kid,
I knew that even with mask,
They could still see right through me.
As I got older,
My fears changed.
Those fears of being seen for who I really am became stronger.
Those fears of the people around me not really being there made me feel lonelier.
Those fears became the nightmares of my sleep,
And the reality during the day.
Sooner rather than later,
I was consumed with them.
I feared that I won’t even be able to convince my shadow that I am someone worth following anymore.
Afraid that my life has no meaning.
Taking risks is not what I do.
I hate change.
I don’t like to be around people in fear I won’t be special,
Afraid I’m nothing but someone ordinary, Someone just like the rest.
Like I could be doing everything right and still have everything go wrong.
I’m scared I’ll never fall in love.
Never find that one that sees past my walls.
I’m scared I will fall in love.
Scared that, once he does see past those walls,
He won’t like what he sees and leaves.
These are some of my fears.
They all matter.
They all play a part.
And they all have the ability to break me.
So, I’m still afraid to the observant frogs.
I’m still afraid of my mysterious future.
Still afraid of the judgmental people around me.
And still afraid of inevitable change.
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